Choose part of your description to blog for Angel. When you have completed this, choose another blog to peer assess.
97 Comments
Ella
2/1/2015 07:36:11 pm
Firelike snake eyes stare grimly, whilst his senile body edges closer. Devoid of emotions, a repugnant foe stands before me determend for its prey. Horrificaly, grotesque features occur with deadly-poisenous jabbers. Fearfuly, frightful claws grasp in rage,pointy as swords.
Whole class comment
2/1/2015 07:41:24 pm
Da iawn, you have used nonsense words and alliteration effectively.
Hari
2/2/2015 11:53:17 pm
Well done u have used one nonsense word and punctuation effectively
Keisha
2/3/2015 12:57:06 am
Well done Ella.You have used a large range of WOW words such as :grotesque and repugnant .You have also used some openers aswell.Try to use some personification and metaphors
Molly
2/3/2015 04:13:55 am
Well done Ella, you have successfully used effective wow words such as: repugnant grotesque also senile.
Louis
2/1/2015 07:36:23 pm
Yellow teeth and huge blood shot eyes the slume will catch you. You don't want to come across him because of his evil personality, you will be his dinner for tonight. His cold heart sends a cold shiver down your terrified spine as you keep on running. He has a creepy alien voice that is like no other also, he is very dark and the clothes that he wears are blood covered hoodies and skeleton jumpers. Unusually Slume is half lizard and half human, this is because when he was young a weird man came and injected him with a lizard injector.
Ffion
2/1/2015 07:52:04 pm
Hari
2/2/2015 11:51:59 pm
Well done Louis you have used wow words to describe the character
Harry
2/3/2015 01:11:06 am
Da iawn you have used a range of wow words
Lewis
2/4/2015 12:04:57 am
Excellent work Louis you have use a range of wow words and punctuation
Daniel Stinch
2/4/2015 02:59:06 am
Well done Louis, you have used lots of WOW words
Carys Roberts
2/4/2015 03:10:46 am
da iawn louis you have used wow words to describe the villians appearence
Emily
2/4/2015 04:29:33 am
Da iawn you have used your VCOP correctly you have also used a range of vocabulary. Next time you could use better and more punctuation.
Cerys
2/1/2015 07:36:39 pm
As cruel as the devil as pale as a vampire he is out to get you. Avoid of all guilt hurracane is mahem.
Caitlyn
2/1/2015 07:52:58 pm
Da iawn, Cerys! You have used lots of similies and personifacation!
Rose
2/3/2015 01:08:41 am
Da iawn Cerys! You have connected two similes in one sentence!
Ellie
3/24/2015 06:32:04 am
Da iawn Cerys you have used lots of effective wow words: guilt and mayhem!
Lily
2/1/2015 07:38:43 pm
Stomping through the majestic land, Spriller has a cold blooded heart with no soul...Yellow eyes illuminate the dreary night sky while his hairs stand immobile on the back of his gungy neak! Suprisingly, his ribcage daces like Michal Jackson.You will never survive...
Hari
2/1/2015 07:49:17 pm
You have used lots of wow words and openers effectively .
Molly
2/3/2015 04:18:24 am
Da iawn, you have used some effective wow words like: majestic and illuminate.
Kieran
2/4/2015 02:58:36 am
Da iawn Lily, you have used lots of metaphors and similes
Kieran
2/2/2015 01:10:47 am
His piercing shiny blue eyes search the surrounding area, as he kill's any suspicions roaming animals. His jet black hair is like the gloomy night sky. His enormous vicious claws are skull crushers for his opponent's battle. His sharp sword cuts through people's living days! Approach with caution, this beast will mutilate and destroy. WATCH OUT!
carys
2/2/2015 11:35:46 pm
You have used a range of affective WOW words such as:suspicions
Daniel Stinch
2/4/2015 03:05:51 am
Da iawn Kieran, you have used very effective openers and very good use of WOW words
Kelly ( Kieran's mothers)
2/4/2015 03:09:38 am
Bendigedig Kieran you have used a wide range of WOW words
Jordan
2/4/2015 03:12:46 am
Well done Keiran you have used similes affectively.
carys
2/2/2015 11:30:39 pm
With eyes that pierce the depths of your soul Shadow gracefully glides across the bones of her enemies.She has hair as black as charcoal and lipstick as red as pure blood.Transparent skin holds a rotten caucus of a heart.her dress is black,purple and orange, and she has a staff which traps all the souls of her enemies.It is hard to ignore the yelps of hers foes about to be decapitated.She has a dreaded boa constrictor wrapped around her neck.
Hari
2/2/2015 11:50:49 pm
Da iawn carys U have used lots of Wow Words and punctuation effectively.
Lynne James
2/3/2015 02:56:03 am
You have used a range of WOW words to describe your character such as :Transparent
Hari
2/3/2015 12:03:10 am
The villain has bright white eyes,flawless skin,razor sharp ears and no eyebrows.My villain's name is Shongei Flumpious. Majestically, his lips are as black as a tooth belonging to a homeless person .The clothes he wears are dirty and ripped. He is 1068 years old and he HAVENT had a bath since he was six months old he smells worse than Mr stink.
Keisha
2/3/2015 12:52:22 am
Da lawn Hari. You have used a wide range of wow words and openers
Hari
2/3/2015 03:49:33 pm
Thanks u Keisha!
Carys
2/3/2015 02:51:04 am
You have used a lot of WOW words such as:magesticly and flawless
Hari
2/3/2015 03:55:46 pm
I will describe him more in my big write on Friday and use metaphors personification and similes .
Lily Roberts
2/3/2015 03:28:48 am
You have used very good VCOP especially vocabulary and openers like: majestically.
Sarah (Hari's mother)
2/3/2015 03:53:01 pm
Well done Hari u have used adjectives and openers effectively
Brandon
2/4/2015 12:52:45 am
Well done Hari you have used some WOW words to describe your character and i really like the name Shongei
Jordan
2/4/2015 03:15:31 am
Well done Hari you have done really well using effective WOW words
Keisha
2/3/2015 12:48:47 am
The soul of the villain is a dark cave is the darkness of a cave,his eyes are flames getting out of hand in a forest fire.Astonishingly,he exclaims "get out of this building or else you'll face the consequences!". His cloak was magic,whenever he put it on he suddenly disappeared and happiness no longer existed!
Rose
2/3/2015 01:03:18 am
Da iawn Keisha! you have written a fantastic and effective description of a fantasy villain. You have used effective openers.
Harry
2/3/2015 01:12:45 am
You have used good punctuation
Rose
2/3/2015 12:48:53 am
A trail of smoke follows her as she strolls across her treacherous, dilapidated lair. A scar crosses her eye from forehead to jaw making her partially sighted. Sirakara. Her crown, a ring of fire, but cold as ice. Her hair, the midnight sky, with black flames sparking at the ends. As she saunters ever closer, Sirakara skeleton hand summons skeletal soldiers to do her bidding, whereas her left hand, red with fire that whispers "fight me if you dare!" Devoid of all emotions, Sirakara crushes souls with a flick of her grotesque wrist.
Julia
2/3/2015 01:15:30 am
Sounds a very frightening villain, I wouldn't like to meet her in the dark. Does she carry any weapons? You haven't mentioned them.
Lily Roberts
2/3/2015 03:13:11 am
Da iawn Rose you have used lots of scary vocabulary and really effective speech.
Caitlyn
2/4/2015 01:37:47 am
Well done, Rose! You have used lots of effective wow words and great use of speech!
Harry
2/3/2015 01:08:32 am
As the dark destroyer terrifies the people in deathly village he slams his penetrating sword onto the gloomy surface. His eyes collect souls as he determines to slay whoever disturbs him. Spikes stretch out to kill whoever calls him freaky. Coat all raged because... Shadows of darkness hover in gloomy sky as he walks past. Devoid of all feelings. Surprisingly,his mouth is as wide as an undiscovered cave to suck people up in his path. Furthermore,the sun descends to a different planet whenever he steps foot out of hell. The dark destroyer steals the moonlight from the moon. He had a power of putting people to rest in peace (R.I.P) forever, also with his deathly sword he will slay every person in front of his.
Ella
2/3/2015 02:56:15 am
Da iawn Harry! You have used level 5 punctuation such as: brackets and ellipsis. You have used a range of wow words effectivly!
Brooke
2/3/2015 04:20:37 am
Well done Harry, you have used lots of brilliant wow words and openers to make your description more interesting.
Brandon
2/4/2015 01:04:00 am
Well done Harry you have used very effective punctuation, such as: Ellipses, brackets.
Grace
2/4/2015 03:12:17 am
Good openers very effective wow words
Dean Gauvain
2/4/2015 03:44:43 am
Da iawn Harry, interesting tale which was written with enthusiasm and genuine enjoyment, either that or your a good actor as well!!
Lily Roberts
2/3/2015 01:19:23 am
Pounding through the illuminous flames flames, shadows of darkness arise from behind! His name is Spriller,worst of them all while his eyes stare in disasterous death...Persistant lightning explodes from his deadly horns like,beastly, extreme fireworks dazzling into orbit! In fact, his claws clench with destiny,he is a lion...Sturdy legs stand,ready to pounce whilst his putrid, grungy teeth are ready to kill his juicy prey! Above his head are horns so symmetrical, despite his 12-pack is a colossal boulder! Go near you will shriek with no doubt!
Ella
2/3/2015 02:47:20 am
Well done Lily! You have used a range of complex sentences effectively. You have used excellent wow words such as, disastrous and putrid! Next time could you improve by adding Ly openers.
Julia Roberts
2/3/2015 03:00:56 am
Wow lily! You have used some descriptive, interesting vocabulary with good use of punctuation. Sounds scary, ardderchog!
Ella
2/3/2015 03:22:49 am
Despite his charming personality, his dark side is not so pleasant! Unaware of what is going on, a magical-radiant orb descends down from the heavens majestically, an indigo figure urges me to follow... Gracefully, a creature with a sarcastic personality guides me to a kingdom of royalty. Beaming brightly, a joyful smile stands before me with a red velvet cloak swaying in summer blues.
Natalie Evans
2/3/2015 03:28:22 am
Well done Ella! A real good use of vocabulary and you have described your guide with intricate detail. Next time research phares!
Lewis
2/4/2015 12:01:29 am
Da iawn Ella you have used a range of wow words and connectives
Brooke
2/3/2015 03:30:20 am
Gracefully, as she strolled towards me a trail of darkness and deadly spirits follow her every movement. Fiercely, her repugnant eyes pierced and threatened my soul. Slowly, she came a bit closer to me; she was wearing a long dress which was the pitch black night. Furthermore, she was wearing a jagged, bronze crown- which glistened in the daylight. Even though she was dressed extremely beautiful and elegant- her face was full of evil and slyness. Gripped tightly in her hand was a glittery, but horrid wand, which held all of her power. Then she came up to me and whispered in my ear "watch out!" Although she is dressed like royalty, stay away from the wicked Aurlina or feel her horrid wrath!
Jade
2/3/2015 03:40:00 am
Well done Brooke, a brilliant piece of writing with amazing vocabulary, sounds very scary!!!!
Ffion
2/3/2015 04:01:51 am
Da iawn Brooke, you have used a range of different openers to make your sentences more interesting. Next time could you think about putting in more metaphors and similes.
Ffion
2/3/2015 03:53:43 am
Hypnotic eyes light up the unilluminated forest like a light bulb. What could it be? Inching closer I inhaled the putrid smell of his revolting breath, the smell so strong it could of been like acid burning the faces of people in sight.
Amanda
2/3/2015 04:04:03 am
Well done Ffion, a good descriptive piece of work. I wouldn't want to be meeting this person!!
Brooke
2/3/2015 04:14:15 am
Well done, Ffion you have wrote an amazing description about your fantasy villain.
Emily
2/4/2015 01:27:37 am
Da iawn Ffion excellent WOW WORDS also you have used a range of vocabulary
Grace
2/4/2015 03:06:23 am
Well done very good ffion i like your similes and wow words
Molly
2/3/2015 04:08:11 am
Cautiously, I tremble through the majestic land, seeing her piercing eyes glare at mine is horrifying. Throughout history, her family has been forces of evil since... Forever. Her charcoal hair with pure blood red sways through the vicious wind. Spirits cast behind her being her friends and companions. Devouring the land and sea every roar she makes you can her more than a mile away. Her name (destroyer of souls) Comes from her father. Devoid of happines, she'll pounce if any movement is sensed, she'll bresk you like a doll without a warning! Slowlyn she comes towards me; as her blank as night cloak sores through the wind, a hoarse voice whispers "I will get you one day" but the big question is will I survive...
Mr Protheroe
2/3/2015 05:06:47 am
Diolch pawb for your interesting descriptions and comments - some great peer assessment. I'm really looking forward to reading your fantasy stories. Da iawn.
Louis
2/3/2015 11:28:52 pm
Well done Molly, you have used lots of WOW words and different kinds of VCOP.
Lewis
2/3/2015 11:56:02 pm
Skull Bonez
Jordan
2/3/2015 11:56:57 pm
Piercingly his eyes as blue as saphires shining in the dead of night. Frightfully he walks towards me like a feline about to pounce. His arms as long as a hose pipe streches out and scratches the air with its frightfull claws. " I'm Boncrusher he demands ". His body has a steel chestplate covering it like a wool on a sheep. I start to sprint away from the monster. "Just remember I'll be back"!
Holly
2/4/2015 12:32:54 am
Strictly strolling towards me,Melisa,the queen of darkness.stares at me with her piercing,fiery eyes.Trembling with fear she slowly sorrounds me as she chuckles loudly with great anger.Devoid of all happiness.Melisa breath in my bitter face,her breath was rotten.Walking away I notice the wounds from demonds before.I wonder what she's going to do?
Emily
2/4/2015 01:16:08 am
Well done holly you have used a range of vocabulary and you have also used every element of VCOP. Next time maybe use more WOW WORDS.
Paula
2/4/2015 02:24:04 am
Good work Holly you have used a good range of wow words. Next time use more connectives.
Leo
2/4/2015 12:34:21 am
"I've seen many things... so many 'things'... but nothing like... The Tshabalaba! The Tshabalaba is a supernatural monstrosity of a creature, and will tear your hopes and dreams! His chest of concrete will reject every skirmish strike you operate, but then he will use an incursion back !!!
Holly
2/4/2015 12:37:25 am
Well done Leo you have used a range of WOW words and good punctuation.
Hari
2/5/2015 03:07:19 am
Well done Leo!! you have used a range of wow words
Emily
2/4/2015 01:13:29 am
Savaging teeth stab the innocent victim. Claws that wait for the next victim to arise. Her hair like midnight, but also it is dilapidated. Her personality a fox cunning and also wise. She wears a black, leather all-in-one. The weapon she caries is a knife guarding the freekish being. She roars of the cliffs,in her hoarse voice,"stay away from me if uou want to live!" She then rambles of into the distance never to be seen again...
Caitlyn
2/4/2015 01:29:29 am
Da iawn, Emily! You have used WOW words to describe you fantasy villain.
Darren
2/4/2015 01:32:16 am
Very excitiing words used , well done
Caitlyn
2/4/2015 01:34:19 am
Piercing eyes ascend from the fearful darkness. A paranormal body boldly stands before me. His identity blinded by a large cloth hood, a true conundrum. Fingers longer than sticks, his mythril armour stronger than every god merged together. A virulent blade sat eagerly in his scabbard. He will rip your flesh off your innocent bones...
Holly
2/4/2015 01:46:57 am
Well done Caitlin good use of WOW words and openers.
Karen
2/4/2015 02:12:37 am
Terrifying description Caitlyn, use of some very atmospheric descriptions that make you feel like your villain is in the room!
Daniel stinch
2/4/2015 02:23:38 am
Piercing eyes illuminate from the forbidden forest. His scaly skin are like blood-curdling snake. Glancing at an unusual view, he hides like an assassin ready to pounce. Raptor like teeth hang on the tip of his other-planet mouth. Its ragged shirt stretched as long as the red carpet. Rasping his victims with lethal keen claws. Viciously, its bird-like wings soar through the murky air. "Look out !!!," they all bawl aloud as their not safe. His glowing shadow lights up like an electric line circulating around him.
Tracy Stinchcombe
2/4/2015 02:49:32 am
Well done Daniel you have used lots of WOW words. Da iawn 😀. Next time you could use more openers.
Kieran
2/4/2015 02:50:30 am
Well done stinch you have used lots of WOW words such as forbidden
Carys Roberts
2/4/2015 03:13:53 am
well done Daniel
Grace
2/4/2015 02:59:41 am
Majestically ,through the inky black shadows emerges a harrowing figure.Her movements make no sound at all as she rises up above the deadly spirits taking her place on the throne of terror .Who is she ? Her sallow, chalky skin illuminates the murky darkness. Piercingly her eyes bare into peoples very souls hypnotising humanity drawing them into her deadly world .Ebony hair runs down her back entwined with the blood red fibres of her robe. People freeze, consumed by her presence. Will molly get away from the queen of the dead or will she devour her last breath like so many before her?
Sally
2/4/2015 04:01:57 am
Well done Grace. A very good description using wow words and VCOP. This is one queen I would not like to meet. 👑😬
Miss Mills
2/4/2015 03:11:48 am
Wow, fantastic character descriptions everyone! I am really impressed with the VCOP you have used and the prompts you have given each other during your peer assessment. I am going to try using a blog with my class next week, what a great way to share ideas!
Carys Roberts
2/4/2015 03:26:28 am
Pastures of darkness surround her as she sits purched at an ariel view waiting for her next victims.Dreadfully, her grotesque body is filled with unilluiminated souls. Glancing at the citizens that pass by, she hides like a cobra waiting to kill you.Every day she is there, looking for the most adorable people to slay. Unsignificant spine-tingling schocks run down your back when she is nearby,take my advice RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!.Will you listen to me?
Brandon
2/4/2015 06:16:53 am
Enthusiastically, he arises people from the dead, to make his army of the dead, unfortunately relatives might be in his army of the dead. Piercing eye will haunt you, it would be like right behind you in the same room. His every move makes a very duff sound, so if you you here strange things at night, it might just be the....Repugnantly, his body is as mouldy as an apple that's been in the sun for over 21 years. Anyone that crosses his path will get pounced on because he is like an assassin ready to exterminate. His army hides in the forest, so just remember your always surrounded....!!!!
Alyson (Brandon's mother)
2/4/2015 06:26:29 am
Da iawn Brandon, you have used some good punctuation and wow words! :)
Cassie
2/4/2015 06:44:23 pm
Covred in the sent of blood, the gruesome demon screamed in the wonderful moonlit forest and return to his firey depths of hell. Flying across the terrific landscape with his magnifacant ripped wings that are blankets that cover the colourful land. But while he frghtens the creatures below he is unable to burn his way through the promisd land because of the golden orbs that keep the evil mosters way...
Louis
2/6/2015 06:29:02 am
Sir how do you post pics on the blog ive made a pic collage of my wonders in the house but i am not sure how to post it
Mr Protheroe
2/6/2015 06:49:17 am
Hi Louis, if you email it to [email protected] I will publish it for you. Really pleased you've been thinking about your wonders of the world at home.
Louis
2/6/2015 06:51:27 am
Thanks sir
Louis
2/11/2015 01:33:56 am
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